Criticism II

Assumptions

Assumption is one cause of most problems in today's world. Understanding is important before judging. Thinking is difficult and this is why most people conclude. Most people think it's because of some things that certain things do happen and they become registered to that idea. But it is not fair, using today's situation to judge tomorrow's actions or even at most, using behaviour to judge others. When most people conclude, they do not look outside of that obvious, immediate proof.

First and foremost, first impressions do not matter and do not have to, except you seek for a life partner, it is one of the driving factors. But to be honest, we blame others' actions on their behaviour unless it's us. (This is what leads to insults but think about it, is that a great decision?) It does not matter, you may change. People change, most especially in times of trials, things change,  GOALS change. You can be anything, lead the life of your dreams or even play the villain if you wish. You may be Aurora today and decide to be Wonder Woman tomorrow. People may want to decide for themselves, let them. It's only the unevolved and unhappy that would focus on you, evaluate your life, judge and tell you how to live your own life because normally, the happy ones focus and improve on their lives and do less of the judging. They do not allow things of less relevance affect them. Change is constant. The reason things surprise you when they change is because you see something happen today, tomorrow comes and you say this is supposed to be this. It's called fixed mindset. Look beyond your senses unto other possibilities. The more you think about a particular thing, the more it scares and haunts you. Be imaginative.

Authenticity

Take for example, those with Obsessive Compulsive Personality Disorders, it arises from perfectionistic attitudes. And this is very dangerous because when someone does something different from the expected, it leads to moodiness, overthinking, anger, stress and trauma on the side of the perfectionist, it leads to annoyance due to intolerance. These people have rules but suffer alone because they are usually in isolation. Such mental crisis as this, are only of the mind and do not make you who you are. This also includes anxiety. They are not you but only of the body. Your happiness naturally should not be influenced by outer forces. Expectations involve creating reasons for disappointment. It is part of believing this one is good so you don't want to see bad. 

If anyone ever dismisses you for being sensitive, ask yourself this; who is more fragile? The person who is brave enough to share when something hurts? Or the person who cannot apologize or admit to having caused pain? Sensitivity, empathy, compassion; these are badass superpowers.

-Nanea Hoffman

Life is simple but has lots of complexities but we sometimes add to those complexities by making it so difficult. Only simplicity matters. It is close to truth. So think about it, overthinking is very far from this. But sometimes overthinking is good, it sometimes arises from empathy. You cannot look at the good without thinking of the bad. More caring people overthink. Most of the stubborn people often make stable decisions. Sometimes the things we see as bad, have advantages. If you love others, they will live however way with you, with less rules and prohibition. Doing otherwise only shows your weakness and lack of tolerance. Today many people have stories to tell. Although the happiest people live long, it is only overthinkers or the easily angered that get depressed or depart earth early because they lack the ability to maintain their happiness. Why do you think Mohandas Gandhi or Sadhguru Vasudev have attained such great ages. 

To gain happiness, allow others be themselves. Vulnerability is an evidence of authenticity. It is the true confidence. It turns out that those who do the worst in life are even more weak and sensitive. When others judge you, it has nothing to do with you but a lot to do with them. They are just revealing a part of themselves that needs healing.

Accept yourself as you are. And that is the most difficult thing in the world, because goes against your training, education, your culture. From the very beginning, you have been told how you should be. Nobody has ever told you that you are good as you are.

-Osho 

Only true men never live by rules but by the inner guide. This is what is referred to as independence. It is integrity to self. We have the conventional people who shun the creative ones. We really can be more human than programmed robots. This is the art of not being who you think you are supposed to be but being true to yourself. The sensible man acts before he speaks and then speaks according to his action. He is not involved in deceit. You are what you do, not what you say you'll do.

Your mind is an illusion, what you think about others is formed by you, including what you think about yourself. Your life should not be lived according to how the world works. Only observers act according to how the world works because they do not really decide for themselves. While there are some others, who can see only their own perspective, won't listen to any other and think the rest of the world is broken. Being special is the ability to do something differently.

A foolish consistency is the hobglobin of small minds. 

-Ralph Waldo Emerson

Our quotidian routine of repeating the same thing everyday is the definition of insanity; having the same thoughts, doing the same thing, even having to see the same people everyday, giving the same reactions to everything everyday, as a result of past emotions becoming a part of you is. Certain people do same thing everyday, recreate feelings, especially that of anger, never evolve and have their good reason for doing it. This can take up to a month to become an habit. From this, personality traits or temperaments such as melancholy or choleric develop. The melancholy could be moody, critical and perfectionistic in nature and the choleric could be judgmental or angry. This is not the definition of authenticity as believed. It is simply psychological and not who they are.

The man who reads nothing at all is better educated than the man who reads nothing but newspapers.  

-Thomas Jefferson

Routines are compulsive circles. You are not learning anything new when you go to work to see the same people you see everyday, return by 6pm to bathe and eat. You watch the news, see the same thing everyone else gets to see. Meanwhile the men of last century were making new findings, inventing, learning, growing and minding their businesses. Today, blogging or gossiping about other people's lives is taking over. If your mind remains the same, so will your life.

Sometimes you have to train your mind, I would expand on this later. Like TedEx speaker, Mariana Atencio has said in one of her speeches, being different equals thinking differently.  Look forward to more possibilities. Imagine! Imagination is one way to experience. It is a vital part of experience.

Consistency is being loyal, stable and trustworthy but you can change! Be who you decide to be. The world teaches us who to be but it is your choice to decide to do. It is especially when we do something really bad, that some others will see it as who one really is. It all does not matter. It is so easy to judge and cast stones. Some people could see others as good but when they do something bad, they abandon them because they believe it; there is no thought about it but they just believe the worst because that is what they have been waiting and wanting to believe. You cannot love someone if you do not know someone. And to know someone, you must be aware of the good and the bad. This shows no love, only judgment. Such things as this require thought. It is all about how you have made up your mind to function. A good person may not just decide to become bad and vice versa. How will you not possess self knowledge and only wish to know or want to know the good about you. That is what I think is harmful to do. It is understanding that matters. But remember that you matter also. Every trait has its negative and positive effect, no matter how it sounds. Every good person has a dark side.

No tree, it is said, can grow to heaven unless its roots reach down to hell.

-C. G. Jung

Every negative brings a meaning to the positive.When you shine your light, the darkness or shadow still lurks around it. Darkness is also that which defines the light. It reflects its importance. They put shame onto us by not accepting our authenticity. When we dance, they judge us, when we sing, they say our voices are cracked, when we pose for modeling, they say we are fat. Bravery is choosing authenticity in this culture. Weirdos are those who do not care how they are seen by others but are quite different.

There are some other cool ones who care for any opinion, seek and beg for validation directly or indirectly. Your self worth should not be thought as another's opinion. Also see that yourself, does that make any sense to you? It's meant for only you to decide. The only person, or the first, who needs to see your magnificence, is you. That is your responsibility. And if you do so negatively or never, it's entirely up to you. Moreso, if you are called dumb, foolish, unreliable, the accusers only want you to act 100% the way they want you to. It's selfishness and the 'I' factor that drives anger. Be aware.

Do not let anybody give you value.

-Ralph Smart

Consistency causes boredom. You can do anything but that does not change who you really are. That is the integrity: sticking to your values and following your inner guide. You find your unique quality and make good use of them. Authenticity is being true to yourself, being what you choose to be and not just being who you think you are supposed to be or who you are forced to be. The privilege of a lifetime is to become who you truly are while the greatest form of despair is not being who you are. It is not a bad thing to change because everything physical is always in circular movement including us. This cyclical movement should be a platform to act but we are affected by people. People change and stability is only in the now. This is why the present is the most important thing. It is a gift and you should make good use of it. 

Only the wisest and stupidest of men never change. 

-Confucius

You should know something; you are not that flesh, but the soul that lies within. You are not your body. You are just a walking lifeless body, gifted with that precious soul. Your soul is what guides you to good. You're spirit before human so why should you care or put your heart to what others think of you when you are the one living that life. That is their burden, not yours. Don't take things so personal. Seeing others positively reveals our positive traits and vice versa. The beauty always lies in the eyes of the beholder. When people change, in the sense of being true to themselves, this is when true colors get revealed. It is the 'final change' which may be either good or bad. You choose good by reawakening your soul and choose evil by choosing ignorance. Changing is equal to finding oneself. It doesn't have to do with any transactions. There are two births, one into the world and one while in the world.

The truth is, whatever you love, you are. Whatever you hate, you are yet to discover within yourself and this is because, there is nothing outside of us. Everything is processed by us, everything we see, say or do. Even our dreams. It does not exclude dreams. Dreams are fruits of the mind. The things you wish to happen, things you experience, things you imagine. You see, there are no positive people or negative people; you only resonate. You could always see the positive to all situations. 

Optimism is a teachable skill and you can be the one to teach yourself. Pessimism and ignorance brings darkness into life. The lens through which you see the world can be devastating or rejuvenating. Your opinions, your thoughts which you make of life result in how you behave or act towards it. Judgment roots from separation. But when we see something similar to ourselves, this is when we love. So why can we not just see everything as one and not keep seeing things as outside of ourselves. Maybe that is something you have not experienced yet. When you see beauty, it's a reflection of yourself and when you see the negative, it is likewise a reflection of you.

Take care of yourself, go on vacations, you eat till you become fat, buy clothes to look beautiful but are you really alright. Are you taking care of your inner being which is the true source of you. Every passing day, with everything new breathe, you should be renewed. It is a good thing to change and it is required that you must change as human. Most times, you should leave the past in the past. There is only one way to be born into a new life: to die before death. Everything is attitude. Change.